Navigating Self-Esteem: Balancing Confidence with Self-Awareness for Authentic Success

Discover the keys to a robust self-esteem with us as we navigate the delicate balance between self-confidence and self-awareness.

Have you ever struggled with the tightrope walk of too much or too little self-assurance?

Our conversation peels back the layers on the origins of self-esteem issues, shedding light on childhood impacts, authority figures, and the myriad ways our environment shapes our self-view.

We tackle the tough questions and offer guidance on nurturing an authentic, grounded confidence—without tipping into self-deception.

Thank you for lending your ears and hearts to this episode, where your insights and experiences truly enrich the tapestry of our dialogue.

I'm thrilled to welcome you into our "Limitless Mindset Mastery" community over on Facebook—a space where we journey together toward whole happiness and success.

 As we wrap up today's exchange, don't forget to subscribe and share this with someone who could use a boost in self-belief.

And keep an eye out for our next heart-to-heart episode, where we'll continue to build the foundations of a life that's not just successful, but deeply fulfilling.

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Chapters

• 0:01 Building Healthy Self-Esteem
• 13:31 Exploring Whole Happiness and Success

Transcript

Behnaz: 0:01

Get ready to be inspired, motivated and empowered. Welcome to the whole Happy, successful podcast, where we will talk about positivity, mindset and different tactics and strategies to be more happy and successful. I'm your host, Behnaz Vala, and I'm on a mission to help as many people as possible to be more successful through a positive mindset. So whether you're looking to improve your career, strengthen your relationships or find more happiness and fulfillment in your life? You'll find the guidance and inspiration you need right here. Join me in this fascinating journey and become more home, happy and successful. Welcome to the beautiful world of the power of mind and positive thinking. Let's start our journey together.

Behnaz: 0:56

Living a healthy and balanced sense of self-esteem is a major key to living a healthy and happy life. There are two sides to every coin, however. Sometimes self-esteem can become something else, namely an unbalanced ego. So how do you know if you are simply being confident or if you are deceiving yourself? A healthy self-esteem is one where you have the confidence to be honest with yourself and love yourself, no matter what. A healthy self-esteem encourages you to live your life to the fullest, make bold but good choices, and to keep going if and when mistakes are made.

Behnaz: 1:41

An unhealthy self-esteem goes two ways. On the one hand, an unhealthy self-esteem leaves you with zero confidence, as well as often unrelenting fear of making mistakes, and often leads to poor quality of life. This is typically called low self-esteem. On the other hand, an overinflated self-esteem is also unhealthy. This is a form of self-deception that tricks you into thinking that you are better than anyone else and that you can do anything, even to the point of rejecting your friends and family. Either way, an unbalanced sense of self-esteem can lower your quality of life. People with low self-esteem often miss out on some of the best things that life has to offer. Either they are too afraid to make a mistake or they feel that they are not worthy of happiness. It is a type of existence that only holds you back. An overinflated sense of self-esteem puts you in danger of losing friends and close relationships. Outwardly, people with an overflated sense of self-esteem come off as cocky or mean. They tend to have trouble gaining and keeping close, loving relationships because they come off as being less than genuine. Typically, however, an inflated self-esteem is generally a sign of the exact opposite. Most people like this are hiding their true selves and are actually riddled with low self-confidence. The false mask of bravado is not true self-esteem and this confidence is really just a form of self-deception. Let us understand the meaning of self-esteem.

Behnaz: 3:35

Self-esteem is defined as confidence in your own self-worth, a sense of self-respect. You are not respecting yourself if you do not believe you are worthy of respect and happiness. Nor are you respecting yourself by hiding behind an inflated ego. To truly find your own self-worth and build a true and balanced, healthy self-esteem, you have to first be honest with yourself. Stop hiding behind fear or a false sense of confidence. Often being honest with yourself is harder than being honest with an outside person. Self-esteem is truly a balancing act that everyone has to work on. To build a healthy and balanced self-esteem, you must, first and foremost be honest with yourself. Only then you can start to work on your view of the world as a whole and make real changes that could change your life for the better.

Behnaz: 4:36

These are surprising causes of low self-esteem. In order to truly work towards building a stronger self-esteem, it is important to understand the origins of your problems. There is typically a defining factor, sometimes a combination of many, that are responsible for the beginnings of low self-esteem. Some of these contributing factors might surprise you. 1. Childhood Influences Growing up with someone who struggled with low self-esteem can often cause a child to develop similar issues. It is a learned behavior that follows you into adulthood and throughout your life.

Behnaz: 5:19

2. Authority Figures. Whether you had a parent or other person that struggled with low self-esteem, the authority figures in your life often contribute to feelings of inadequacy. This can happen in many ways. In some cases, a parent or other authority figure can be unsupportive of your decisions and accomplishments, which makes you feel like you were not good enough, no matter how hard you tried. These often unrealistic expectations can bring out the worst in anyone. In other cases, there is such a thing as being too involved. Parents or other authority figures that put too much responsibility or stress to be perfect on a child often do so out of love, but are in fact causing pain and suffering that comes in the form of self-esteem. Again, no one can live up to unrealistic expectations.

Behnaz: 6:23

3. Unstable Childhood. An unstable or chaotic childhood can often make a child feel insecure, and those feelings can reflect on a child's feelings of self-worth. Very authoritarian or overly permissive households, lots of arguing or yelling, split families and moving around a lot can all create chaotic childhoods like this. 4. Past Abuse Traumatic events in any form can cause low self-esteem. This can be past emotional, physical or sexual abuse, especially when the abuse occurred during childhood or at the hand of a trusted family member or authority figure.

Behnaz: 7:15

5. Bad Relationships. A bad relationship, especially one that is emotionally abusive or bereft, can bring on feelings of inadequacy and contribute to low self-esteem. A bad breakup or being left by a loved one can cause you to focus on your own faults as a partner, eventually leading to self-esteem issues.

Behnaz: 7:41

6. Influential Friends. There are some people who, perhaps without realizing it, project their own self-esteem issues on others by making them feel bad about themselves. To build themselves up, they tend to pick up on people around them. Being close to someone like this can tend to have a toxic effect on your own self-esteem. 7. Competition Competition can sometimes bring out the worst in people, whether it is at work, at school or even at home in some situations. Too much competition can sometimes cause feelings of inadequacy. This can happen in childhood and even in adulthood.

Behnaz: 8:29

Number 8. Pressures of society. The overall pressures of society are probably one of the number one causes of low self-esteem. Getting to make your way in the world is hard enough without worrying about the expectations of everyone around you, giving in too much to the pressure can often lead to low self-esteem. Where do you think your self-esteem issues began? If you can pinpoint even a few of the contributing factors, it can go a long way towards overcoming low self-esteem and becoming a stronger, healthier person.

Behnaz: 9:11

Your self-esteem is more than just the confidence you have in yourself. It goes much deeper than that, down into your feelings of self-worth and how much you respect yourself. Your self-esteem affects everything about you, from the decisions you make to your overall outlook on the world. A strong and healthy self-esteem is one of the main building blocks of a happy and healthy you. With a healthy self-esteem, you can have the confidence to do well in the world and the self-respect to make good decisions. Here are 10 tips on how to develop your self-esteem.

Behnaz: 9:53

Number 1. Stop the criticism. Find the strength to stop criticizing yourself so much. You cannot expect yourself to be perfect any more than anyone else. Number 2. Make a list. Make an actual pro and con list and write down what you do and do not like about yourself. Be specific and resist the impulse to just write things like I hate my hair. When you are very specific like this, you might find that you have less to dislike than you think. Number 3. Set realistic goals. Set personal goals for yourself so you have something to work for, and set up a reward system as well. Resist the urge to make unrealistic goals, however. For example, don't expect to be able to run 5 miles the first time you try or attempt to lose 50 pounds in a month. Make small, realistic goals and you will always have something to look forward to.

Behnaz: 11:02

Number 4. Take care of yourself. Eat right, exercise and get plenty of sleep. Take care of yourself and take pride in your body and mind. 5. Think positive thoughts. Try to avoid thinking negative thoughts, especially when it comes to yourself. Instead, put those thoughts out of your head and purposely start listing all of the positives around you.

Behnaz: 11:33

6. Don't make comparisons. It is unrealistic and unhealthy to compare yourself to other people. You are a unique individual. You should take pride in what sets you apart.

Behnaz: 11:48

7. Treat yourself well. Show yourself a good time every once in a while or treat yourself to something special. Even small things like taking the time to indulge in a good book or a home spot treatment can do wonders for your self-esteem. 8. Meditation isn't about sitting cross-legged and humming. It is about taking the time to release your mind and body from all of the stress, closing your eyes and focusing on centering yourself. It is a great stress reliever and could help you connect with your inner self.

Behnaz: 12:32

9. Make good decisions. Good self-esteem is also about having self-respect. Making good decisions in all walks of life will help you maintain that self-respect. 10. The truth about perfection. The truth about perfection is that it doesn't exist. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, and those mistakes are all part of the adventure of life. Don't get hung up on things that you might not do just right, or if something isn't perfect, because there is no such thing. A healthy self-esteem can change your life. People with healthy self-esteem are more likely to make good decisions, work harder towards accomplishments and live happier lives. With these tips, you can strengthen your self-esteem.

Behnaz: 13:31

Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share it with your friends and family. I would also love to hear your thoughts and experiences, so leave a comment and share them with me. Also, join my free Facebook group, limitless Mindset Mastery, and discover more. The link to join is in the show notes. Stay tuned for the next episode, where we will continue to explore important topics related to being whole happy and successful. I'm so looking forward to talking to you next week. Expect the best, and the best will happen to you.